Hop On Board

I had a moment last night. A moment where someone says something that stuns you enough leaving you speechless.

"You're not enjoying, you're processing."

How true. This was said to me by none other than my lovely hubby to be, who in his heart of hearts cares so deeply that he was concerned I was missing out on the best moments because my brain was already thinking about the next. We had just moved furniture into our new house, and I was quietly processing everything that needs to get done before next Saturday, instead of enjoying that moment.

He was right. Well, part right. :)

I've tried my best through all of this to soak it all in. To truly breathe in the grandness and grandiose-ness of the engagement, wedding planning, love-dovey stuff. And I think I've done a really good job. But, in these last few weeks, when the details start to pile up, he has a point that this is when I should most be happy and let these moments wash over me, instead of trying to keep them at bay to accomplish my to-do list.

I don't want to process the wedding. I don't want to process the honeymoon. And I certainly don't want to process being married. I want to live it. To enjoy it. To experience it.

And that's exactly what I plan to do from this moment on. Seize the day!

This Woman's Worth

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I've had to say good-bye a lot lately.

Good-bye to a life that I built for myself, a single life, a life that I grew weary of and am ready to leave behind, but something that was wholly mine all the same. I created a little home in my 700-square-foot apartment, a haven from the world that was all mine to be messy, to decorate pitiful Christmas trees and watch as many episodes of Gilmore Girls as I wanted to.

Good-bye to a sister who has always been within reach. Always been a car ride away from a girls night complete with musicals, movies and supper. A lifetime of being a few bedroom doors away now has become a kagillion bedroom doors and miles away.

Good-bye to an era of freedom. A time in life where everything is open, free, exciting and new. LSU created in me a sense of adventure and individuality that flourished with my group of friends that made me whole.

All of these good-byes have given me a great sense of sadness.
But I've seen such joyful things through them all.

Saying good-bye to my single life, means I now have a partner in life. Someone will be by my side through it all, someone who understands me (usually more than I do myself) and will carry me when I can't go another step (not to mention carry the groceries in from the car).

Saying good-bye to a sister has taught me more about how I want to be. I want the courage of my sister and brother-in-law to step out on faith and begin a new adventure. The tenderness and undying love of my mother who I happily turn into more each day. And the strength and sacrifice of my father, who through it all is a pillar of faith and love.

But it seems that after every goodbye, there is a moment of joy. A moment where your heart twinges and says "it will be OK." Through it all, it will turn into something bigger and better than you could have ever dreamed. And all of those joyful moments are carrying me through to May 1 and on.