In The Middle of the Night

Everybody needs girlfriends to be silly with.

I count myself very lucky.

And very loved.

But I Don't Want To

In the quiet moments this morning, after I kissed my husband good morning and was waiting on the cinnamon rolls to bake, I took a few moments to write my thoughts about this new year in my personal journal. Even though my thoughts filled pages and pages about excitement, uncertainty and renewed commitment, I had a moment where I felt I couldn't stop writing for fear I wouldn't remember all the wonderful times from this past year, and not correctly archive all the special moments I want to keep fresh in my mind.

But as the day went on and we routinely ran errands, cleaned and got ready for a new week, I had a sense of calm that took over. This year will be different than last. But that's OK. We'll never have another year like 2010, but thinking that it couldn't get any better than this is foolish. So many fabulous times ahead. So many great memories to be made.

So here's to a new year. A year of restoration and joy.

All I've Held On To

Stephanie's 2011 To Do List:

1. Be more creative. (homemade beach bags, wine toppers, finish t-shirt quilt)
2. Bake more.
3. Organize all photos from last two years.
4. Take at least two vacations with the hubby.
5. Create a professional portfolio.
6. Grow tomatoes in the summer.
7. Read and actually study the Bible in my daily devotionals.
8. Scrapbook and organize all wedding books and photos.
9. De-clutter.
10. Use more coupons.

Surely this list isn't comprehensive, but something my mind started wandering towards during a quiet work day. Looks like 2011 is all about streamlining and enjoying the life Jason and I are building for ourselves. Less planning, more living.

Restoration Station

It's amazing what can change in a few hours.

After my "not so happy" blog post last week, within a few hours my entire world became a lot brighter. Everyone is entitled to a grumpy day, right?

But, the power of restoration came through and my Christmas season turned much merrier than expected.

Jason and I had a memorable and romantic first Christmas night by ourselves:

We traveled to New Orleans to see one-half of our fabulous family:

And then traveled to Pineville to see the other half of our fabulous family!

(even though this picture is from Thanksgiving...it's the same great people!

And we celebrated the true meaning of the season. It all felt wonderful. And made me remember how thankful I am, even in the stormy seasons of my life. Restorative time with friends and family remind us how lucky we are. I'm feeling back to normal and in a good place for a new year.

Even though I'm sad to see Christmas end, and even 2010, I know the next year will be just as filled with adventures, ups and downs, sickness and health, new beginnings, new changes and happy times. And more reminders that God is in control of all we do, think, feel and hear.

Merry Christmas (from this reformed Grinch)!

Leave Them All In Awe

I am determined not to miss Christmas.

This is the best time of the year, the spirit, the joy, the fun, the parties, the gifts, the shopping, the traditions, the everything we wait all year for is here, and I'm missing it.

After being sick for longer than I can even remember, here we are three days before Christmas and I still can't muster the energy to do all the things I love the most. Wrap presents. Bake. Driving to see Christmas lights. And it's making me feel very grinchy.

This is my FIRST MARRIED CHRISTMAS. I had visions of romantic dinners by the Christmas tree, and late nights sneaking presents under that tree. Cold Christmas mornings snuggled under blankets opening our economical and thoughtful gifts together. Making homemade cinnamon rolls and then hitting the roads to see our families to celebrate.

None of that seems like it will happen now. It's more like struggling home late from work, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner and lighting enough candles in the house so it doesn't smell like a dead lizard (a whole different story). I'm lucky if I plug in the lights to the Christmas tree.

I need some pixie dust or something from Santa to break me out of this funk. Because, by golly, I will not miss Christmas!

Gonna Come

I feel a shift.

A shift in the earth. In my bones. At my desk.

A shift in the way I feel and how I make my day count.

It's been dormant for a little while, but now the sparks are starting to glow much brighter. The big pieces are starting to move ever so slightly in the right direction for new things, new places, new faces.

It was a quiet shift. It came suddenly, but softly.

It's unmistakeably God's quiet voice. Something new is out there to discover and to experience. For Him. For my family. For me. It's strange how even though I haven't prayed specifically for this, he knew all along what was on my heart, and made his move.

Mariachis Locos!

El Salvador. A beautiful country. A sad country with great pride. A place with great unique factors, like their food, their warmth and their music. But it's a place where my new family calls home and one they welcomed me to with open arms.

Our week-long adventure in El Salvador began with food, and ended with more food. I could live off this food. Pupusas, frijoles, salsa, coffee, approz con pollo, anything and everything with lime.

We visited so many beautiful places, Finca QueQueQueisa a coffee plantation where 100% of the profits are donated back to the city it is in for community projects, such as running water and school improvements. Apaneca, a beautiful mountain region where we drove (for quite a while) and saw great views of the mountains, and the people that live there. And we saw all the places that are special to the family, homes, restaurants and more.

The wedding we attended was also a great time. It again reminded me of my own wedding. Surrounded by family, friends and a fabulous party. I learned more than I ever thought I would about Jason and his family. How crazy, loving, and fun-loving they are. How much they don't worry about food, or sleep, and how they really just want to have fun with their family.

I hope to make it back there one day with my own children. Just as I will show them where I come from, I want to always remember where my other family comes from. A beautiful country, with an even more beautiful family.