Something Good

It's getting closer. Closer and closer by the day, is the day of all days. WEDDING DAY.

I've had the most amazing few months. I feel as though I have to take each moment and encapsulate them in little marbles of memories to store them in a glass jar by my bed so that everyday I can take them out and remember the moments over and over again. The showers, the parties, the planning, everything has been happening so fast, yet so purposefully and so in the right direction that I feel as though I'm on a wedding conveyer belt, steadily heading towards the altar. Smooth sailing (knock on wood!)

These last two months are going to be even better. Ever greater. Ever more sweet and humbling.

Moving Step by Step

I'm pretty much at the end of it.

I can't get out of my own way.

She Said I Think I'll Go

I'm sitting here in Louisiana, waiting for the snow to fall. Thinking about the Saints winning the Super Bowl and planning my wedding. 2010 truly has turned into a year to remember.

No Matter How Hard I Try

Life has been a whirlwind lately. How can one find time to record their thoughts, when they can't even think their thoughts?

It's been a joyful time lately. Really exciting. Really fun. Really emotional. I have been reminded of the precious and protected friendships I've gathered over my years at LSU, and how far deep these girls go into my veins. We are for one another. And feel happy for one another. Sad for one another. and celebrate with each other. They have proven over and over how lucky I am to have walked on to that college campus and into their hearts.

It's also been a crazy time lately. The state of Louisiana has gone haywire. Absolutely bananas. The Saints in the Super Bowl. Now I've admittedly become a Saints fan on the recent bandwagon. I became a fan when I came to LSU, so I can't proclaim the die hard fandom, but the night I spent at the House of Blues in New Orleans celebrating the Saints going to the Super Bowl will forever give me goose bumps. I have never seen more joyful, excited, overwhelmed or happy people in one room. When the ball made it through the goal posts, you would have thought that the center of the earth had erupted. I will remember it for the joy and the for the meaning it has to a city that breathes life into a normally mundane society. And for another reason being from Louisiana is a mark of pride and honor, instead of something to hide.

And oh yeah, I'm getting married in 3 months.

Uggity Uggity

I see lilies everywhere I go now! It's fate!

Never Takes Too Long

Happy New Year! Happy 2010.

What a year this will be. And I thought 2007 was a doozy. Big things are happening. So big that they spin over my head rocket ships. Massive things.

1. A wedding. OUR wedding. My wedding. Jason's wedding. In four months. It almost seems surreal. And makes me feel a little disconnected from it all, because we've waited for so long, that now these things are happening, i.e, showers, parties, it's almost as if we're watching it all happen in slow motion. But the fun type of slow motion that makes you giggle, rewind and giggle some more. A happy slow motion.

2. New places. Liza and Johnathan are moving in April. The decision has been a while in the making, making it a disconnect for me as well. I'm so used to having her near, all the time. I think I'm starting to realize what this will mean. But, even though my heart is starting to slowly crumble from missing them already, what a beautiful step they are taking on faith. To reach others for Christ. To serve those in need and to serve our country. It reminds me of God's faithfulness to us. In our most terrifying moments, he brings peace in the madness and joy in our sadness. I can only hope Jason and I have the same opportunity to faithfully follow God's will in our lives, even if it means big moves and new places.

2010 will be great. It will be humbling. It will be wonderful. I think this year is when the cream rises to the top. When the men are separated from the boys (figuratively), and the year I find something inside myself that I never knew I had. Removing myself from the rat race. And falling in an open sea of anything's possible.

Walk These Halls

The last few days have been tough. Tough. Tough.

A refuge is what I seek. A hiding place from all those moments that bring me to my knees, and bring all of us to a place of longing for peace. I need a pure place where I can rest, where I can lay still and quiet from the world, and find a moment of rescue. I know that place exists in the arms of my Father, and in the peace that only God can fill me with. But lately God has felt distant, and I have felt unwilling to find Him.

It's like that song "Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?" There is a line in there that says "My world is changing, rearranging..." and that's exactly how I feel. The walls are changing, the hallways continually unwind themselves and crash into closed doors, cracked windows and uneven floors. I have felt hidden from my faith, unconnected to the very core of what makes me full of life. It's almost as if I'm too tired from this world to carry the weight of anything else, even the simple weight of childlike faith.

So here's to the prayers that fail my lips for the moment, and to the light that is flickering, but never burnt out, for I know His mercies are new every morning, and His compassions never fail me.