Next Time I'll Be Braver

So...we've done it. We've officially made our first move as a married couple. We decided, after a alot of discussion and searching that moving to a new place was the best thing for us. It happened fast and furious, but we learned a lot through it all...

• I learned that no matter how hard I try to change things, my husband is usually right (bleh). His calmness and zen-like approach to life got us through a very stressful move and made all the rockiness and upheaval seem like an adventure.
  


• Jason learned that I do not like to leave empty houses. I cried on almost every one of our 8 trips in the Uhaul back and forth because I was sad, because I was happy, because I was hot, because I was hungry...on and on. And I cried the most when the house was empty and we said goodbye to our first home. It was just so....empty.
  


• I learned that sacrifice most often leads to new opportunities.
  


• Jason learned that his wife is a hoarder in disguise.
  


• I learned that my husband has a serious connection with his high school gym shorts, and even though they are covered in paint stains, ripped and would be best suited for a dish rag, there they remain, in one of our few drawers, right next to his socks...and I think there they will remain forever.

And we both learned that even in a first year of marriage, filled with many "firsts": first holidays, first hospital stays, first stitches, first quiche explosions, first moves, etc., that our first year was the best year yet! Here's to many more....years together, not house moves :)

Just Another Brick In The Wall

Hiya. My name is Sadie. Most of you know me as the hyper, loveable mutt that resides with my owners, Stephanie and Jason. But, I'm like an onion, peel those layers away...and you will see so much more deeper inside of me...let me explain.

1. My stomach is not just for show; it is a magical place where if you rub it, your dreams come true 2. My tongue is like a soothing wave, and if I lick your toes, the clouds open and the skies rain down heavenly manna for all to enjoy

3. The couch is not for humans; it is a scary place that if you sit on, you will fall to depths of the earth and never return -- therefore I advise you to sit on the floor while I keep the couch safe from falling humans. I'm just looking out for you, you know?

4. I may throw up more than a normal dog, but it's just to bestow my magical juices to the world; they have healing powers for carpets and floors.

5. I also have a super-dog stomach; give me anything -- Tums, chocolate, fiber, chapstick, christmas ornaments, laundry soap, pine cones, squirrel poop -- you name, I can down it.

6. My owners think that I'm a little left of center, because I would rather lick the couch cushions than play with my very expensive toys...but I believe that the couch cushions (albeit dangerous for humans) offer magical strength for my day long sleeping sessions. And I don't appreciate being laughed at during a commercial showing all these super dogs doing super-dog like things, and my owners look over at me while I'm licking the couch cushions and laugh....not cool guys.

But all in all, I'm a good dog. Come over and visit me sometime, I promise to jump on you and lick your face and invite you into my home.....no not the laundry room, the full house is at my disposal to entertain guests. Because as we all know, I'm the queen of this castle, and Jason and Stephanie are just paying the rent.

Halfway There

...moving...

...changing...

...renewing...

...loving...

...understanding...

...happening...

...feeling...

...seeing...

...being...

...doing...

...going...

...coming...

...embracing...

...refreshing!

To Close The Door

I made a promise to myself during the recent Women's Conference at my church. And I wrote it on a little card and placed it in the book of Ruth (the book we were studying). It was a promise to myself, and to God that I would daily weep and rejoice forward. Forgetting what is behind and trusting daily that God is taking care of me and my life. A day-to-day reminder that I needed to DAILY give my concerns and worries to Him.

That was three weeks ago. I did well for the first few days. I felt lighter. Positive. Joyful.

But I've twisted myself all up again. Sometimes I feel like a bobbin on a sewing machine as it is being wound. It goes so fast, and winds so tightly against the spool it's like a tasmanian devil. I feel like I'm being wound really really tight at a furious pace, then I don't have control over. My foot isn't on the pedal. Sickness. Moving. Worries. Anticipation. Stress. Unknown. Money. All of the emotions and circumstances in life are flying pretty hard at me and it feels like it won't stop.

But then, I realized something. After all that fury of winding the thread, you place the bobbin in the right place, and as you begin to slowly sew, the thread is loosened and guided by the artist's hands, and begins to create and shape new and beautiful things.

That same foot that wound me so tightly, will slowly and graciously release me and my life to create new and better things. This made me remember exactly why I made that promise to myself.

So here I am, back to my daily habit of remembering who is in control and letting go. It is difficult, but not impossible. Unwinding to His new mercies and forgiveness for my stubborness to want to control it all. Yielding to the Artist's hands and vision, not my own.

Love Like A Hurricane

He is jealous for me
Love like a hurricane, I'm like a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

And all of a sudden, I'm unaware
Of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
How he loves, oh

And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And Heaven meets Earth like an unforseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way that he loves us

Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us...

--David Crowder Band {How He Loves Acoustic}

This Is My Father's World

Stephanie's Top 5 Things To Do With The Rest of February:

1. Attempt to finish first side of T-shirt quilt:


2. Decorate the house for Mardi Gras!

3. Finish reading "This Much I Know Is True" -- not my favorite book, but I MUST finish it

4. Re-evaluate my new Once A Month Cooking idea -- I planned out all the meals in February ahead of time and scheduled when I would cook them, freeze them, etc. This was in hopes that I could save time and money by only grocery shopping once or twice a month, rather than every week. I think the pilot month has been a success! We have eaten out less, and I have at least 5 fully cooked meals in the freezer ready to go on a busy weeknight (mostly soups, but hey..it's winter). Full report to come!

5. Send all winter coats to be dry cleaned. Maybe this will bring the beautiful Spring weather faster!

Beyond It All

The title of my post actually means something this time. I'm beyond it all.

I'm beyond worrying.
I'm beyond asking.
I'm beyond questioning.
I'm beyond second-guessing.
I'm beyond. it. all.

Lately it seems that my favorite word is "crappy." Work is crappy. My attitude is crappy. My sleep is crappy. And my speech is even crappier. It's been a lot of treading water around these parts, and fighting against things that are so much larger than me, I feel like a minature version of David, against a much bigger version of Goliath.

I come home defeated because I feel as if I fought all day for things I treasured, or believed in, or was proud of, only to have them given freely to someone else on a platter. Work is difficult. I'm constantly on edge and constantly on fire. But the funny part is -- for what? What am I fighting for? It certainly isn't anything that important, and certainly isn't what I should be wasting my energy on. It's just work. And it's not work that is giving me anymore in return than I put in it.

It's been a struggle. But I'm starting to see the fire die down, and the breeze is blowing the ashes in a new direction. Jason and I have been praying for this for a while now and I see it changing. I see God moving in this. I see myself changing. I see my hope renewed that all of this is for a reason, and I'm not there in vain.

So I'll listen to that small voice who is saying "Be still. Stop fighting. Just let it be. I'm here." And breathe in a new day tomorrow, beyond it all.

‎"Do not be afraid. Stand firm ... The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still..." Exodus 14:13a, 14