Halfway There

...moving...

...changing...

...renewing...

...loving...

...understanding...

...happening...

...feeling...

...seeing...

...being...

...doing...

...going...

...coming...

...embracing...

...refreshing!

To Close The Door

I made a promise to myself during the recent Women's Conference at my church. And I wrote it on a little card and placed it in the book of Ruth (the book we were studying). It was a promise to myself, and to God that I would daily weep and rejoice forward. Forgetting what is behind and trusting daily that God is taking care of me and my life. A day-to-day reminder that I needed to DAILY give my concerns and worries to Him.

That was three weeks ago. I did well for the first few days. I felt lighter. Positive. Joyful.

But I've twisted myself all up again. Sometimes I feel like a bobbin on a sewing machine as it is being wound. It goes so fast, and winds so tightly against the spool it's like a tasmanian devil. I feel like I'm being wound really really tight at a furious pace, then I don't have control over. My foot isn't on the pedal. Sickness. Moving. Worries. Anticipation. Stress. Unknown. Money. All of the emotions and circumstances in life are flying pretty hard at me and it feels like it won't stop.

But then, I realized something. After all that fury of winding the thread, you place the bobbin in the right place, and as you begin to slowly sew, the thread is loosened and guided by the artist's hands, and begins to create and shape new and beautiful things.

That same foot that wound me so tightly, will slowly and graciously release me and my life to create new and better things. This made me remember exactly why I made that promise to myself.

So here I am, back to my daily habit of remembering who is in control and letting go. It is difficult, but not impossible. Unwinding to His new mercies and forgiveness for my stubborness to want to control it all. Yielding to the Artist's hands and vision, not my own.