In The Middle Of This Mess

I fear...I have run out of interesting things to say.

So I will share a recent victory. I successfully cooked a vegetarian meal. *cheers* *wahoo!*

My past escapades at vegetarian cooking (and no, we are not becoming vegetarians!) have been lackluster and plain gross.

Orzo stuffed bell peppers. Sounds fabulous = tastes like bland, soggy rice in a cold, chewy pepper.

Quinoa (which is actually fairly tasty when done right) and sauteed vegetables = mushy brown sludge

The only other "vegetarian" option I've tried is Twice Baked Potatoes and although delicious, probably not the healthiest.

So, last night - I hit the jackpot. A delicious and easy recipe, and something so different from the normal chicken and vegetables that I actually squealed when I ate it. I know, dork.

Stuffed Poblano Peppers
via Polwig

1 (28oz) can of whole peeled tomatoes in juice (I used two small cans of tomato sauce)
1 jalapeno chile (I used pickled jalepenos)
2 small (1 huge) onion
3 garlic cloves
1 (19 oz) can black beans
1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
1 cup (4 oz) shredded cheese (pepper jack or italian mix)
1 tsp cumin
3/4 cup water
4 large poblano peppers.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Combine tomatoes (or sauce), one onion chopped and 2 garlic gloves in blender. Blend until smooth.

Mix other chopped onion, one garlic clove, black beans (drained and rinsed), cornmeal, cheese and cumin. Add water to desired consistency.

Cut poblano peppers lengthwise in half and stuff with bean mixture. Add lots of salt and pepper.

Pour tomato mixture onto bottom of 9x13 pan, place peppers on top, squish down a little bit so they are somewhat covered in sauce. Top with more cheese.

Bake for 30 to 45 minutes. Top with sour cream

OMG. So delicious. I think the sauce is what makes it. It reminds me of the salsa in El Salvador we ate with the pupusas. So yummy. I also made an avacado and tomato salad, which added a fresh spin on it too.

Oh, so yum-O!

Be Small Enough

One of my favorite lyrics goes:

"There are moments when I could not face Goliath on my own, and how could I forget we've marched around our share of Jerichos..."

It always seemed like a simple metaphor to me. We all have our Goliaths that shadow us with their intimidation. And we all have our Jerichos, that we circle and circle trying to find a way in, around or through.

I think we have daily Goliaths and Jerichos. And then we have the BIG ones. The walls that we continually bang our heads against, thinking maybe this is the time our tiny skull will crack the concrete.

But, thankfully, also in our lives we have our Davids. The mild-mannered heroes that slip in, shoot one tiny rock into our seemingly unpassable giant, and the whole thing topples down. And we have our Rahabs that hide us when the danger comes, protecting what we hold most sacred from what we were most afraid of.

Jason: thank you for being my David and my Rahab. For making me feel safe and humbled at the same time. One day I'll be normal. I promise. Hopefully. Still counting on it...:)

Shine Like The Stars

*knock knock*

who's there?

*library monster*

library who?

*Library monster gone done and eaten Stephanie......*

*burp*

MIA

So here we are starting a new adventure. My three weeks of stay-at-home-dom has come and gone, and I do believe I did it well. I slept [a lot], ran errands [a lot], watched TV [a lot], and prepared myself for a new step. GRADUATE SCHOOL.

Going back to school has been something I've always assumed I would do. I love learning, I love that environment and I love to be knowledgeable on the subjects I'm passionate about. I was lucky in undergraduate school to choose what I wanted to study early on, Marketing -- and enjoy it from the get go. I always just knew it was where I needed to be. I love this field, and have found it fascinating from the beginning. But graduate school for me, is a chance to make myself better in the field I love. An opportunity to go further.

So, back to school. It will be tough. And it will be stressful, and I plan to enjoy every moment of it, because I know I'll never be back here. I'll never be here, at LSU, in class, on campus, care-free (mostly) with my entire day focused on reading, absorbing and learning. I'll probably never have the freedom like this experience offers. And I know Jason and I will never be in this place again either.

It feels as though graduate school is the gateway to so many bigger things. It's that "last step" before the next step -- a family. Moving to a new city (probably). Having kids. Getting grounded. And being more than just the two of us. I think that is part of what excites me the most about starting school. I know it's the first step in a new direction for us. I don't want to get ahead of myself and miss this experience, but I can't help but look down the road a little bit and get excited about what's to come.

So, in honor of that. I wanted to reflect on where we've been lately.

We braved our first holiday season together:

We moved into a new place (with the help of some amazing family and friends):

We celebrated another Spring, where a year before we stood waiting to see each other for the first time on our wedding day:

And of course, loved on our adorable, almost human child, Sadie (who right now, I kid you not, is licking the couch cushions):


And we danced. A lot.

So soon, there will be new pictures of new moments together. And I can't wait to share our exciting it will al be!

So Good I'll Take It

So I finally did it. I left my job for the start of a new adventure. It was time. That much was as clear as daylight. And it's time to focus on something new. Graduate School. Back to the halls, back to the alma mater, back to class. I'm looking forward to studying exactly what I know I want to know more about.

But before that adventure begins, I've take a few weeks off to just...be. To breathe a little deeper, to take a break. And that has given me an opportunity to do things I've been putting off for years. All those tiny projects that line up and never get done because of lack of time, energy, patience...etc.

It's been relaxing, rejuvenating and just plain nice. I know things will pick back up again. And I won't have many more quiet moments like this, but I plan to enjoy every minute of it. Even it means just having the time to clean the boring ol' oven.

As It Was

Even though owning a home is far down the road for me and Jason, I have been obsessed lately with looking at remodeling, decorating, home-type blogs. I don't consider myself much of a DIY-er (do it yourself-er), but these projects people come up with are incredible.

Need to re-brick my fireplace? No problem!
I need an Indian silk handwoven rug to match my acryclic blue hand crafted tile? Uhh...easy.
My 6 Kitchen Aid mixers are so boring, who can hand paint with oils derived from honeybees tears? Cake walk.

Not to poke too much fun, but I do have a lot of fun perusing them to see what type of inspiration it might create in me.

And today, I've found a winner.




A PLATE WALL.

Not to mention the super awesome, if anybody wants to buy me one I would love them forever, blue piano. This idea of displaying artsy, beautiful plates as artwork is so endearing to me.

Definitely will use this one day in my home, or maybe....business? *wink wink*

If That's What It Takes

There is a song by Mercy Me "Bring the Rain," that I've always loved. Its verses and melody has touched a part of my heart that was always stubborn - always wanting God to bless me with the good stuff, and none of the tough stuff in life.

I haven't talked much about my struggles at work here mostly because of an internal rule that my daily victories and struggles at work should stay there (minus the vent sessions had with my husband and family). I tried my best not to bring work home.

But lately it's been so overwhelming and heavy that I've been baffled that I can't find peace in the midst of it. I would pray the entire way to work "please make today OK, make me patient, make me strong," but everyday I would come home more defeated than the last.

So during a drive last week I was listening to that song.

"Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Being me anything that brings You glory
I know they'll be days when this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain...

And it hit me. All this time that I've been praying for my own personal comfort I had been missing the point. All of these struggles were opportunities to praise God during this storm in my life. The good times aren't the only blessings we are given.

God showed me I had been taking his faithfulness for granted and not given Him enough credit. This time at work, the times when it feels like a gorilla is sitting on my chest, are the best opportunities to share Gods love and grace under fire. He will see me through.

And Is To Come

A sweet, summer dessert. Perfect ending to a boring, but perfect Monday night.

One Thing I Know

Life recently has been calm (...saying that very quietly so no one can hear it and change it...). Aside from daily struggles and daily victories, it seems we're slipping into the lazy days of Summer, where the heat sticks to you like honey, and there is a constant film of sweat all over you.

Jason has been hard at work...perfecting his Call of Duty skills, which will certainly come in handy one day in life, I'm sure of it :) But he's also been able to flex his creative muscle and spend some time playing with a local band. As a drummer, he is constantly hitting, tapping, banging, slapping, counting, bobbing, pounding something to a beat only he hears. After being with him for nearly a decade, I've grown accustomed to becoming a human drum, and very often have to remind him that my knee is not a solid as a bongo drum, nor does my car dashboard appreciate the constant beating to the tune of Hold That Tiger (aka LSU pregame).

So how excited was I when I found out he was invited to play with some friends at a local hangout with his new cajon drum (see wooden box-looking thing above). For four hours, he was in heaven. Playing along to every song under the sun, and enjoying being able to be a musician once again. He is a musician at heart, he hears melodies, notes, songs, rhythms that affect him on a different level.

I hope he continues to have chances like this to be in this space, to be in this way, and to live in his musical world, just for a little while. Makes him happy = makes me happier.

Remind Me Of Us

First harvest of the season!

Hmm...what can I make with banana peppers?

Now if only my tomatoes would get with the program...

In It To Win It

Food. Food. Food. This is my fridge after a Saturday afternoon grocery shopping adventure. Complete with Jason pretending the shopping cart was a bobsled, and in his best "Cool Runnings" accent, counting down to launch the bobsled. The fridge is now nice and full, ready for a week of new breakfasts, lunches, dinners and midnight snacks.

I've really gotten into planning, cooking and preparing meals lately. I know I've mentioned my planning ahead of meals by the month (now down to two weeks because of lack of apartment space to keep four different bags of potatoes). And I've also discovered a love of food blogs. I really have found a lot of them to be informative, witty and interesting to read.

A few favorites:

www.thepioneerwoman.com (thanks Liza!)

www.101cookbooks.com

www.joythebaker.com

www.annies-eats.com

There's something calming about reading through these recipes, the photography they use and the time they spend to make homemade, nutritious meals for their family. It inspires me to take more time to put effort into this part of life. Taking the time to enjoy and experience things. Not just food, but books, events, travel, etc. I think it's time I do more of this.

I've always wanted this blog to be a place to extend myself.

And it's time I extend into new places in this blog. A refresh is in order. Let's go!

However Long I Stay

Close enough to start a war,
All that I have is on the floor,
God only knows what we're fighting for,
All that I say, you always say more,

I can't keep up with your turning tables,
Under your thumb, I can't breathe,

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue, you to just desert me,
I cant give you the heart you think you gave me,
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables,
To turning tables,

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh,
Where love is lost, your ghost is found,
I braved a hundred storms to leave you,
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down,

I can't keep up with your turning tables,
Under your thumb, I can't breathe,

Next time I'll be braver,
I'll be my own savior,
When the thunder calls for me,
Next time I'll be braver,
I'll be my own savior,
Standing on my own two feet...

-- [Turning Tables], Adele

Next Time I'll Be Braver

So...we've done it. We've officially made our first move as a married couple. We decided, after a alot of discussion and searching that moving to a new place was the best thing for us. It happened fast and furious, but we learned a lot through it all...

• I learned that no matter how hard I try to change things, my husband is usually right (bleh). His calmness and zen-like approach to life got us through a very stressful move and made all the rockiness and upheaval seem like an adventure.
  


• Jason learned that I do not like to leave empty houses. I cried on almost every one of our 8 trips in the Uhaul back and forth because I was sad, because I was happy, because I was hot, because I was hungry...on and on. And I cried the most when the house was empty and we said goodbye to our first home. It was just so....empty.
  


• I learned that sacrifice most often leads to new opportunities.
  


• Jason learned that his wife is a hoarder in disguise.
  


• I learned that my husband has a serious connection with his high school gym shorts, and even though they are covered in paint stains, ripped and would be best suited for a dish rag, there they remain, in one of our few drawers, right next to his socks...and I think there they will remain forever.

And we both learned that even in a first year of marriage, filled with many "firsts": first holidays, first hospital stays, first stitches, first quiche explosions, first moves, etc., that our first year was the best year yet! Here's to many more....years together, not house moves :)

Just Another Brick In The Wall

Hiya. My name is Sadie. Most of you know me as the hyper, loveable mutt that resides with my owners, Stephanie and Jason. But, I'm like an onion, peel those layers away...and you will see so much more deeper inside of me...let me explain.

1. My stomach is not just for show; it is a magical place where if you rub it, your dreams come true 2. My tongue is like a soothing wave, and if I lick your toes, the clouds open and the skies rain down heavenly manna for all to enjoy

3. The couch is not for humans; it is a scary place that if you sit on, you will fall to depths of the earth and never return -- therefore I advise you to sit on the floor while I keep the couch safe from falling humans. I'm just looking out for you, you know?

4. I may throw up more than a normal dog, but it's just to bestow my magical juices to the world; they have healing powers for carpets and floors.

5. I also have a super-dog stomach; give me anything -- Tums, chocolate, fiber, chapstick, christmas ornaments, laundry soap, pine cones, squirrel poop -- you name, I can down it.

6. My owners think that I'm a little left of center, because I would rather lick the couch cushions than play with my very expensive toys...but I believe that the couch cushions (albeit dangerous for humans) offer magical strength for my day long sleeping sessions. And I don't appreciate being laughed at during a commercial showing all these super dogs doing super-dog like things, and my owners look over at me while I'm licking the couch cushions and laugh....not cool guys.

But all in all, I'm a good dog. Come over and visit me sometime, I promise to jump on you and lick your face and invite you into my home.....no not the laundry room, the full house is at my disposal to entertain guests. Because as we all know, I'm the queen of this castle, and Jason and Stephanie are just paying the rent.

Halfway There

...moving...

...changing...

...renewing...

...loving...

...understanding...

...happening...

...feeling...

...seeing...

...being...

...doing...

...going...

...coming...

...embracing...

...refreshing!

To Close The Door

I made a promise to myself during the recent Women's Conference at my church. And I wrote it on a little card and placed it in the book of Ruth (the book we were studying). It was a promise to myself, and to God that I would daily weep and rejoice forward. Forgetting what is behind and trusting daily that God is taking care of me and my life. A day-to-day reminder that I needed to DAILY give my concerns and worries to Him.

That was three weeks ago. I did well for the first few days. I felt lighter. Positive. Joyful.

But I've twisted myself all up again. Sometimes I feel like a bobbin on a sewing machine as it is being wound. It goes so fast, and winds so tightly against the spool it's like a tasmanian devil. I feel like I'm being wound really really tight at a furious pace, then I don't have control over. My foot isn't on the pedal. Sickness. Moving. Worries. Anticipation. Stress. Unknown. Money. All of the emotions and circumstances in life are flying pretty hard at me and it feels like it won't stop.

But then, I realized something. After all that fury of winding the thread, you place the bobbin in the right place, and as you begin to slowly sew, the thread is loosened and guided by the artist's hands, and begins to create and shape new and beautiful things.

That same foot that wound me so tightly, will slowly and graciously release me and my life to create new and better things. This made me remember exactly why I made that promise to myself.

So here I am, back to my daily habit of remembering who is in control and letting go. It is difficult, but not impossible. Unwinding to His new mercies and forgiveness for my stubborness to want to control it all. Yielding to the Artist's hands and vision, not my own.

Love Like A Hurricane

He is jealous for me
Love like a hurricane, I'm like a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

And all of a sudden, I'm unaware
Of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
How he loves, oh

And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

And Heaven meets Earth like an unforseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way that he loves us

Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us...

--David Crowder Band {How He Loves Acoustic}

This Is My Father's World

Stephanie's Top 5 Things To Do With The Rest of February:

1. Attempt to finish first side of T-shirt quilt:


2. Decorate the house for Mardi Gras!

3. Finish reading "This Much I Know Is True" -- not my favorite book, but I MUST finish it

4. Re-evaluate my new Once A Month Cooking idea -- I planned out all the meals in February ahead of time and scheduled when I would cook them, freeze them, etc. This was in hopes that I could save time and money by only grocery shopping once or twice a month, rather than every week. I think the pilot month has been a success! We have eaten out less, and I have at least 5 fully cooked meals in the freezer ready to go on a busy weeknight (mostly soups, but hey..it's winter). Full report to come!

5. Send all winter coats to be dry cleaned. Maybe this will bring the beautiful Spring weather faster!

Beyond It All

The title of my post actually means something this time. I'm beyond it all.

I'm beyond worrying.
I'm beyond asking.
I'm beyond questioning.
I'm beyond second-guessing.
I'm beyond. it. all.

Lately it seems that my favorite word is "crappy." Work is crappy. My attitude is crappy. My sleep is crappy. And my speech is even crappier. It's been a lot of treading water around these parts, and fighting against things that are so much larger than me, I feel like a minature version of David, against a much bigger version of Goliath.

I come home defeated because I feel as if I fought all day for things I treasured, or believed in, or was proud of, only to have them given freely to someone else on a platter. Work is difficult. I'm constantly on edge and constantly on fire. But the funny part is -- for what? What am I fighting for? It certainly isn't anything that important, and certainly isn't what I should be wasting my energy on. It's just work. And it's not work that is giving me anymore in return than I put in it.

It's been a struggle. But I'm starting to see the fire die down, and the breeze is blowing the ashes in a new direction. Jason and I have been praying for this for a while now and I see it changing. I see God moving in this. I see myself changing. I see my hope renewed that all of this is for a reason, and I'm not there in vain.

So I'll listen to that small voice who is saying "Be still. Stop fighting. Just let it be. I'm here." And breathe in a new day tomorrow, beyond it all.

‎"Do not be afraid. Stand firm ... The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still..." Exodus 14:13a, 14

When You Only Meant Well

Life lately:

I Know This Much Is True -- Wally Lamb

"The Town" -- Directed by Ben Afleck

Young Professional Bible Study -- "Don't Waste Your Life"

Black bean and salsa soup

More doctor appointments

The end of an era

"winter weather" days home from work

New office furniture

Breaking Free -- Beth Moore

American Idol obsession

Blessings, blessings and more blessings

(the three latest brides!)

(yes, that's me, on stage with Sweet Potato Sale

playing the cowbell to "Sweet Home Alabama"

to ring in the new year!)

My handsome date!

In The Middle of the Night

Everybody needs girlfriends to be silly with.

I count myself very lucky.

And very loved.

But I Don't Want To

In the quiet moments this morning, after I kissed my husband good morning and was waiting on the cinnamon rolls to bake, I took a few moments to write my thoughts about this new year in my personal journal. Even though my thoughts filled pages and pages about excitement, uncertainty and renewed commitment, I had a moment where I felt I couldn't stop writing for fear I wouldn't remember all the wonderful times from this past year, and not correctly archive all the special moments I want to keep fresh in my mind.

But as the day went on and we routinely ran errands, cleaned and got ready for a new week, I had a sense of calm that took over. This year will be different than last. But that's OK. We'll never have another year like 2010, but thinking that it couldn't get any better than this is foolish. So many fabulous times ahead. So many great memories to be made.

So here's to a new year. A year of restoration and joy.