Got A Couple Cents

It's summer! What a great time. Except that the heat really stinks.

These past few months have been intense. I've never celebrated, cried, worried, sang, prayed, hugged, kissed, missed and just plain worked harder then I ever have in my life. I've had more times to be happy and joyful then ever before, and I know the memories made this Spring will some of my favorite, and most tender. But at the same time, I've felt more frustrated and lonely then I have before.

For the longest time I've felt that if I could make it to June 1, my life would finally settle down. I would have two married best friends, a completed fiscal year at work, time to actually dive deep into church every Sunday, and a chance to save money rather than spend.

But God has different plans for me. The day before my supposed "freedom day" of June 1, we learned of a very sick family member, and God literally punched me in the stomach, saying "yeah right, you thought you were in control of this life." It was a bittersweet moment. It was as if I almost could actually see for the first time that I was not in control of my own plans. Oh sure, I can make plans and carry them out, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm sitting shotgun. Which is a wonderful and frightening realization all at the same time.

The family member is OK, I'm settled for the time being, and plans are to stay that way. But I have a funny feeling that this summer will bring more surprises, trials and growth that I ever planned.